I Wish
by JnnLuvsU
Summary: The week before Sam's wedding, Jack gets some things off his chest in a letter.
1. Default Chapter

Title: I Wish

Author: Jennifer Kelley Threads

Summary: Post Threads. Ok, first of all, Jack doesn't know that Sam broke it off with Pete. The week before Sam's wedding, Jack gets some things off his chest in a letter.

Disclaimer: Um, you know the drill, their not mine, and if they were, I'd have a lot more fun with them than the powers that be.

Category: Jack/Sam. If that scares you, run away, far, far away. Based on Jo Dee Messina's wonderful song "I Wish"

I Wish

Jack made his way into his office, his thoughts where they usually were, on a certain blonde scientist who happened to be his 2IC. Kerry had told him that regulations shouldn't stand in his way and that he needed to retire. He sat down at his desk and sighed, his thoughts wouldn't settle. There were too many things to worry about: he didn't know if he wanted to retire in the first place, and then there was the whole Pete thing. She had moved on, and it was really time that he did the same. 'She's getting married in less than a week,' he scolded himself, 'get over it.'

His mind drifted to the talk he had with Jacob before he died, "Don't let her go through with this without knowing how you feel," Jacob had said, but Jack didn't understand how he was supposed to do that. He didn't want to cause problems between her and Pete. Wait a minute, sure he did, he didn't want her to marry him, but he did want her to be happy, and if Pete made her happy than he would hold his tongue. She deserved to be happy. She deserved far more than him, but his mind wouldn't leave it alone. Maybe Jacob was right, maybe she did deserve to know how he felt.

Opening a drawer, Jack pulled out some paper and a pen. He would write her a letter, tell her the truth. He thought for a moment on how to begin, then began to write.

'Dear Carter,' he wrote, then crossed that out, and began again.

'Dear Samantha,

I know that the last think you expected me to do was to give you this letter. It's not easy saying this toyou, Sam. In fact, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I had a chat with Dad before he died, and he made me promise him something, so here goes. Before you get married next week, Sam, there are a few things that I would like you to know.

I wish that things were different, God, do I wish that things were different. But I think that you already know that, don't you? I am still happy for all of the times that we had. You are a truly unique and wonderful person, and so heart-stoppingly beautiful. I will always treasure every mission we had to go on, the many times we saved the world. The past eight years have been the best I've had since Charlie died, and you are the biggest part of that. You mean the world to me, Sam, you must believe that. If I could go back and change things, you know I would, but I can't, and I'm sorry, so very sorry.

The thought of losing you is tearing me apart, Sam, but I understand. I really hope that he makes you happy, because if he doesn't, he'll have me to answer to. You'll understand why I'm not at the wedding, won't you, Sam? If you really want me to be there, I will, but I'd rather not. Just remember Sam that I meant what I said, I will always be with you, always, and no matter where you are, I will be here for anything that you need. Anything. Don't even hesitate to call.

There are so many things that I wish for you Sam, I don't even know where to start. I wish you strength when times are hard, and take it from me, marriage is not easy. I wish with all of my heart that you find just what you're looking for. Don't close your eyes to what you want. You deserve everything you want. I wish you joy. I know that one's hard to believe, but I really do. I want you to be happy more than anything. I wish you peace. I hope that he can give you the tranquility that the SGC cannot. I wish that every star you see is within your reach. Never stop reaching for the stars, Sam, you're living proof that they can be reached.

But, above all else, more than anything else, do you know what I wish for, Sam? I wish every day and with all my soul that you were in love with me.

All my love,

Jack

Jack reread the letter, put it in an envelope and sealed it. Walking down to her lab, he was glad to see that she wasn't there. He put the letter on her desk before he could talk himself out of it, and left the base. He didn't know what to expect when she read the letter, and was a little bit afraid to find out. He didn't want to find out at the base, no matter what, so he went home.

What will Sam's reaction be? There will be one more chapter, telling her reaction. Then I will post the lyrics to the song "I wish" as the third chapter. Please review! They are my lifeline!


	2. Chapter 2

Sam made her way down the hall to her lab, her arms full of papers. She had some work to finish up before she could go home, and frankly she had some thinking to do. Daniel stopped her just as she was going to walk in the door, "Hey, Sam, have you seen Jack?" he asked.

Sam turned and shook her head, "Nope, not in the past hour or so. Maybe he went home early," she said, setting the papers down on her desk without looking at it, not noticing that she covered a small white envelope as she did.

Daniel sighed, "Damn, I needed to ask him something. Oh well, you want to go and get some dinner with me and Teal'c?"

Sam shook her head, "Can't tonight. I've still got all this work to do, and I would like to go home sometime tonight."

"Ok, then, see you later," Daniel said and walked out of the door.

"See ya," Sam said as she sat down at her desk. Instead of beginning on her work, however, she placed her head in her hands. Too many thoughts were running around in her head. Her father's death was still fresh in her mind, as were the words that he said before he died, "Don't let regulations stand in your way."

"Easy for you to say, Dad," she muttered to herself. She had broke it off with Pete because se knew that she really didn't love him as much as he loved her, and that wasn't fair to him. She didn't know what to do now, though. She had gone to Jack's house to tell him how she felt, only to be interrupted by his new girlfriend. How could she have made such a fool of herself? 'Stop thinking about it,' she told herself, and turned her attention to the paperwork that was piled up on her desk.

Sam became lost in her work, so much that she didn't notice how much time had passed until Daniel came into her lab again, "Hey, Sam," he said, "it's almost 10:00. Time to head home."

Sam smiled at him, "I'm almost done. Not much longer. I really want to finish this tonight."

"Suit yourself," he said, "I'm headed home. See you tomorrow. How are the wedding plans coming?"

"Um, actually, I called off the wedding," she said, "It just wasn't right."

"Are you sure?" he asked, not really shocked, but not wanting to let her know that.

Sam smiled, "Yeah, Daniel, I am. This is what's right for me. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye," he said and left, grinning.

"It was almost 2300 hours when Sam finally finished with the last piece of paper that she had stacked on her desk. She was surprised to see that there was an envelope with her name on it left on her desk. Wondering who could it could be from, she leaned back in her chair and opened it.

Sam read the letter once, stopped, gaped at the page, and then read it again. This couldn't be real, could it? Tears streamed down her cheeks. Who would have known that he could write something so, so beautiful. Sam didn't know he had it in him. This was a big shock. Looking at her watch, she was surprised by the time, but knew that she had to talk to him tonight. She leapt out of her chair and ran all the way to her car, still crying. He was so sincere, and he still thought that she was going to marry Pete. She had to fix this. She had to tell him the truth.

She drove to his house on autopilot. She was so lost in her thoughts that she would never be able to recall how she got there in one piece. She could barely see through her tears. She pulled up in front of his house noticing that the lights were all out. Knowing that if she didn't do it now, she never would, she turned off the ignition and walked to his front door.

She rang the doorbell and then wiped her cheeks, noticing only then that his letter was still clutched in her hand. She didn't know what she was going to say to him. She didn't hear the footsteps coming to the door and jumped when the door opened.

"Carter?" a very tired, disheveled Jack O'Neill was not surprised to see her there, but was surprised to see her crying, "What's wrong?" He had never meant to make her cry. It took all of his restraint not to take her in his arms and make the tears stop. He didn't know how she would react if he did.

The tears came afresh as she looked at him. She held up the letter that he had written her, noticing the apprehension on his face. "I don't want you to wish me these things," she said through her tears.

Jack unconsciously took a step back, "You don't?" he asked softly.

Sam took a step toward him; it was now or never, "No, Jack, I don't."

The use of his first name not lost on him, he still wondered what in the world she was getting at, "Then what do you want?" he whispered. He had never been as scared as he was right now.

Sam closed the distance between them, "I want you to give them to me," she whispered before bringing her lips to his.

Jack's hesitation flew out the window as he took her in him arms and kissed her back with all the feeling he could muster. Something was still nagging at him, though, and he forced himself to break the kiss, "What about Pete, Sam?" he asked, not letting her go.

Sam smiled, "I broke it off with Pete just after my dad died. With all the commotion, I never got a chance to tell anyone. What about Kerry?"

"She broke up with me when she realized that she could never replace you," he said, noticing for the first time that they were still standing half in his house and half out of it. He pulled her inside and shut the door before taking her again into his arms and kissing her deeply.

"I love you, Sam," he whispered, when they pulled apart a few moments later.

"I love you, too, Jack," she whispered back. She knew there would be repercussions, but they could discuss those tomorrow. Tonight, she was merely going to enjoy this.

The End. Please Review!


	3. Lyrics

Jo Dee Messina's "I wish"

It's not easy saying this to you

It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do

But boy before you go I want you to know

Chorus

I wish you strength

When times are hard

Oh I wish with all my heart you find what

You're looking for

I wish you joy

I wish you peace

And that every star you see's within your reach

And I wish you still loved me

I wish things were different you know that

But I'm still happy for the times we had

You meant the world to me

Baby please believe

Repeat Chorus

Losing you is tearing me apart

But part of me will be with you

No matter where you are

Repeat Chorus


End file.
